the weirdest visit to the doctors office in history
by grovyleTheGreat
Summary: one of the many untold tales of nowhere island, in which Lucas and Claus go to the doctors office, run into porky, get lost in the mental hospital, destroy stuff, and even vandalize the fourth wall! warning: mass destruction


**hello there. This is a random story that came to mind just this morning, It's my first actual earthbound story, that isn't a song or just a ssbb fic, so please, tell me how it is, what I could do better, blah blah blah...**

**I don't own earthbound, zeebo from that one i carly episode, these songs, the fourth wall that's being vandalized,my almost unnoticeable fobbies are borange reference, or oreos.**

**the weirdest visit to the doctors office in the history of doctors office visits**

It was a lovely day in Tazmily village, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and two boys were being forced to go to the doctors office.

"NO MOMMY DON'T MAKE US GO IN THERE!" Claus screamed while grabbing his mothers leg and flopping on to the ground in protest.

"MAMA, PLEASE DON'T TAKE US IN! THE DOCTERS ARE EVIL AND THEY'RE OUT TO GET US!" Lucas whined as he copied his red-head twin.

"Nonsense. the doctors know what they're doing." their mother told them, "Now, come along boys..."

Claus and Lucas sighed. "Fine..." they grumbled, "Let's just get this over with..."

this, was surprisingly enough a typical doctor visit for the twins. screaming, protesting, whining, yelling, crying, and flopping.

the group walked into the small building, or "Stupid Hospital In Tazmily" as the twins called it.

Lucas looked around, in fear of the scary needle things they stab your arm with. like any other child, Claus and Lucas were scared to death by those things.

another kid walked up to them... in a mechanical vehicle that was shaped kinda like a spider pig thingy. He smiled at the duo with a menacing grin and evil beady eyes.

"Whadda ya know, fresh meat..."

Lucas and Claus darted under a chair PK thunder speed!

the mech had used some kind of lazar beam to dispose of the chairs in the waiting area.

the twins dashed into a long corridor, a piggy mech on their tails.

"He's gaining on us!" Lucas screamed while huffing

"Come on Lucas! You've gotta run faster!" Claus yelled back.

"I CAN'T! WE GOTTA STOP!" Lucas cried out.

"AND RISK THAT BACON MECH?!" Claus interrupted while dodging a get well soon balloon, "ARE YOU CRAY-CRAY?!"

Lucas wasn't listening, as he was peering into a room with little babies inside.

"Dawwwww!" was all Lucas could get out of his mouth.

"Oh, for crying out..." Claus muttered as soon as he saw his brother, "LUCAS GET THE FLIP OVER HERE!"

Claus grabbed Lucas's arm and pulled him out of the line of fire and cuteness.

"Really Lucas, REALLY?!" Claus screamed into his brothers ear.

"But Clausy, I can't help it!" Lucas protested, "Babies are so CUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!"

`Clausys` eyes narrowed. "Don't call me Clausy... EVER! UNLESS you want me to call you LULU!"

"Lulu's a girls name... are you calling me a-"

"yep."

`Lulu` smiled cheekily. "am I a PRETTY girl...?"

"SHUT UP! WE'RE TRYING TO GET AWAY HERE, REMEMBER?!"

"Oh... Sorry!"

suddenly, Clausy slipped on a random banana peel, as did Lucas.

"FASSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" Lucas screamed, even though he had no idea who that was, for no apparent reason.

the bacon mech was an inch away from the boys, all was lost, no hope...

the last thing the doplegangers heard was "PK OREOOOOOS!"

claus was the first to wake up in a dark room, in which the smell of oreos lingered,

he glanced around.

_too dark... can't see a thing..._ he thought.

he knew his brother would cry if he didn't find a lightswitch soon...

claus then started feeling around the room for a lightswitch. however, he didn't find one...

the ginger sighed.

_where's Ness and his pk flash when you need him..._

_he went to travel through space and time in that mr. saturn tardis with his loyal companions, Paula, Jeff, and prince Poo... _a voice spoke into his mind, via telepathy.

_Who the fuzzy pickles are you!_

_...fuzzy ...pickles...?_

_I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!_

_calm down, orange oreo, jeez!_

_that's not mah name! that's not mah name! that's not mah name! that's not mah... name!_

_sorry, CLAUSY._

_oh no you didn't!_

_oh yes I did!_

_oh no you didn't!_

_oh yes I did!_

_oh no you didn't!_

_oh yes I did!_

_oh no you didn't!_

_oh yes I di-_

_shut up._

_fine..._

_now, who ARE you._

_meh-heh-heh-heh..._

_...wha...?_

_YOLO STANDS FOR YOU OBVIOUSLY LOVE OREOS! MEH-HEH-HEH-HEH!_

_oh, hi Nintendo. _

_IT'S NIN-TEN!_

_no one cares, nintendo._

_gingers truly DO have no souls!_

_Hey! that's just a rumor spread by blondes!_

_I know you lie, CLAUSe your lips are movin! tell me do ya think I'm DUMB?!_

_yes... and I know that pun was totally NINTENded... however, it was kinda bad..._

_sorry..._

_I's too late to 'PAULAgize, it's too laaaaaate_

_why?_

_you're not sorry, oh, oh..._

_anywho, you needed the lights on...?_

_..._

_looks better with the lights on, better with the lights on. ooooh, oooooooooooooh..._

_lights! lights! yeah, la-la-lights!_

_get me a box of oreos._

_but I don't-_

_THEY'RE IN YOUR POCKET! GIVE ME!_

_lights first, then we'll talk._

_kay... ANYTHING for my OREOS!_

xxxxx

"PK FLASH!"

suddenly, a blinding light had been set off throughout the room, CLAUSing Claus to FLINTch.

it also CLAUSed the authoress, who had been typing at the time, to faceplant her head into the key-rtsryjsjrigrifgl to avoid being blinded. sorry... keyboard if you were wondering what I faceplanted into..

fourth wall count: 3

the readers, however, were reading this on fanfiction, probably on a smartphone, tablet, DS, laptop, ect. were blinded for the next 20 seconds i wasted their time with on this story.

fourth wall count: 7

about twenty seconds later...

there. twenty seconds of your time wasted, readers!

fourth wall count: 8

"gosh... bright, too bright..." claus squinted his eyes.

after the bright glares intensity lowered, claus realized where he was... the mental hospital...

"you stay... in the mental hospital?!" Claus asked Ninten, "Why?!"

"you remember when that lamp attacked me while we were in the magicant chatroom?"

"Yeah...?"

"when I told Ness, he PK Teleported me to the mental hospital."

"Ah."

"mmm..." Lucas mumbled in his sleep, "mommy, I love my new puppy..."

he started sleep-petting this "new puppy", but in reality, it was Nintens shoe.

ninten had the most akward expression on his face, as the blonde was at his very feet,  
>sleep-petting his shoes...<p>

claus was rolling on the floor laughing

"what's that puppy...?" Lucas mumbled, "you're really an omlet, enchanted to move by the power of the most omlety of the omlety omlets...? and if I eat you I'll gain your powers...?"

"oh gosh, no!" Ninten pleaded.

Lucas ate the shoe, with Nintens foot still in it...

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWW!" Ninten wailed.

The scream woke up Lucas.

"huh...? wha...?" the blonde questioned.

he looked upwards, to the angry child in a blue and yellow shirt and a red baseball cap. the boy was holding his left foot, and his shoe had a huge bite mark in it...

"Ness...?" the blonde asked, "are you okay...?"

Ninten growled.

"OH!" Lucas realized, "You're his cousin, uh... NINTENDO!"

"IT'S NINTEN!"

"umm... what happened to your shoe?"

Ninten growled and turned his back to Lucas.

Lucas turned to Claus, who had just gotten over his laughing fit.

"Umm... did I...?" he asked his older twin.

"yeah."

"...not again..."

Ninten gasped. "he's done this before?!"

"well" Claus started.

the ginger went to flashback land...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_it was midnight, on the twentyeth of august, 2006 when it happened, a week away from the very doctors visit to come._

_Claus was staying up late, waaaaay past a normal seven year olds bedtime, to watch a silly movie about four legendary heroes, who saved the world from some silly embodiment of evil._

_Lucas was also watching the movie, but fell asleep in the middle. _

_when Claus paused the movie, his younger twin started singing about picking flowers for their mom, in his sleep. _

_Claus giggled at his brother. _

_"bro, sometimes I wonder how being this adorable is possible..." claus wispered._

_then IT happened..._

_"ooh... these are the bestest flowers to give mommy..." the blonde smiled_

_"how about the ones on top of that mountain over there." Claus wispered into his sleeping brothers ear._

_"...Kay..." he mumbled in his sleep._

_Lucas sleep-climbed the `mountain`, who was really Claus, and picked the `flowers`, that were really Claus's boogers..._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"eww." Ninten gagged.

suddenly, a huge shadow was casted over the room.

Lucas peeked out the window, to see... oh gosh...

THE PIG MECHA WAS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!

"OH SNAP!" Ninten sceamed, "IT'S BACON OREO!"

"... I'm not even gonna comment..." Claus commented.

"never mind that!" Lucas dodged a lazer beam, "RUN!"

the psi children made a mad dash out the door.

"Gosh, we never get a break, do we..." Lucas sighed.

"RUNNING ISN'T GOOD FOR MY ASTHMA!" Ninten yelled while holding an inhaler.

"That thing is indestructable..." Claus pointed out, "how do we kill it?"

suddenly, Ninten had an idea...

he put up a psychic shield, threw his inhaler at the `bacon oreo` and used pk fire omega...

end result, mass destruction...

(accordian my calculations, this would actually be possible. please don't try this at home... your mother and father, or guardian will probably not be pleased. and the next chapter won't be up...)

fourth wall count: 9

this left them unhurt, but their faces and clothes were completely charred.

"INHALER!" Ninten screeched.

luckily, Lucas had picked up the replacement inhaler before they left the mental hospital for Ninten.

the blonde handed over the inhaler.

after using his inhaler, Ninten patted Lucas on the back. "Thanks Luke. you're quite literally, a lifesaver..."

after the moment of lifesaving, the boys had realized that... the `bacon oreo` was no more... in its place, was a quite chubby ten year old.

the kid looked up at the three boys. "Th-thankyou..."

"wait... you're thanking us...?" Ninten asked.

"I HAVE BEEN STUCK IN THERE SINCE 1647! OF COURSE I'M THANKING YOU!"

"That's unbefreakinglievable..." claus gasped.

the twins mother ran up to them.

"There you are!" she hugged Lucas and Claus. "I've been worried sick!"

Hinawa eyed he destruction around them.

"oh my!" she gasped, "look at your clothes... your hair! I can't tell who's who!"

"I'm Lucas!" Claus squeaked.

"I'm Claus!" Lucas said in a serious tone of voice.

"I'm Pokey!" Nintens voice cracked on purpose.

"I'm Ninten!" Pokey kept his voice from cracking

"and I'm ZEEBO!" a random drago jumped out from nowhere.

"...the heck...?" Hinawa questioned.

"Lucas and Claus Himawari-tatsu." a nurse called. "it's time for your appointment!"

Claus sighed and turned to lucas. "ikimasho."

"why are you suddenly speaking in another language?"

"don't ask me! ask the authoress!"

fourth wall count: 10

"she was holding a japanese dictionary while typing this!"

fourth wall count: 11

"you mean our whole life is a teen girl with a pen and paper?!" Lucas gasped.

fourth wall count: 12

"I'd say, more of a laptop... it's on fanfiction for crying out loud!"

fourth wall count: 13

"can I say hi to the readers?!"

fourth wall count: 14

"no lucas..."

"the reviewers?"

fourth wall count: 15

"we don't need the fourth wall count there to raise any higher!"

fourth wall count: 16

"total fail."

"this story is getting on my nerves..."

fourth wall count: 17

"hi readers!"

fourth wall count: 18

"Lucas and Claus Himawari-tatsu." the nurse called. "it's time for your appointment!"

"right!" they both answered in unision, as they ran to the right room, their friends and mother right behind them.

"doctor G. will see you now." the nurse told the twins.

the group looked up to see the doctor... oh my...

"RUUUUUUUUUUUN!" they all screamed and darted out the door.

inside the room, Giygue sighed heavily. "what's so wrong with quitting evil to do a job you LOOOOOOOVEEEEEEE even more..."

suddenly, wreck-it-wralph materialized into the room.

"don't worry bud, I'm here for ya..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**grovyle: there we go! all done!**

**Claus: did you seriously make our last name "sunflower-dragon" in japanese...?**

**grovyle: ...yes...?**

**NINTEN: I didn't get my oreos...**

**grovyle: I-I don't have any on hand!**

**NINTEN: give me oreos or I'll sing scatman!**

**grovyle: eeeeeeep!**

**Claus: (hands over oreos) anything to keep him quiet...**

**NINTEN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!**

**Lucas: (waves hand vigorously) BYE CARTOONERS!**


End file.
